template by Punki of Adoxography

Star dragged her feet going to the lunch room. Everything here was a shade of grey, the walls, the floors, and even the food. Nothing ever tasted right, maybe it was because it wasn't made with love or maybe it was the medication she had been put on for her PTSD. Either way, she thought it all was garbage. This whole place was filled with people who didn't give a shit about you, even the janitor didn't care about you. You just had to play the system and that's exactly what Star was doing.

She spent her time trying to socialize with all these assholes. She even tried to open up about her feelings, which was all bullshit. She could never say what she actually wanted to say, that she didn't feel a shred of remorse for what she did to that rapist and she would do it again in a heartbeat if it ever happened again but this time she wouldn't stop. Her body ached with anger that the man who violated her and took every ounce of her self confidence was out there breathing and she was trapped in here with all these people who were forcing her to be okay. She didn't want to be okay, she just wanted to stop talking about her problems all the time and get the fuck on with her life. But that was impossible to do here in Monroeville and in Monroeville, you either play their games and get out faster or refuse to play their games and get thrown into solitary confinement.

As much as Star tried to play along with the recovering mentally ill patient crap she actually couldn't stand one person in here. Everyone was fake and not in the way Star was. They would constantly be throwing their problems in your face as if their story was somehow more tragic and therefore more important than anyone else. Star could care less about her "story" she just wanted out of this hell hole and forget everything that had happened in the last few months. She knew that socializing looked good to the doctors though and was looking for a new person to zero in on to be a friend, or even someone willing to pretend to be her friend.

After getting her "food" which consisted of nothing she actually wanted to eat she walked around the room looking for someone on their own, it was always easier to strike up a conversation with someone who also seemed to be out of the group. After looking around for a bit she noticed a guy sitting on the ground by himself and thought perfect. This kid, he never talked in any group sessions, he always ate alone, and never hung out with anyone. He seemed like the perfect candidate for Stars' "friend group", he seemed more like the type of person who wanted to be left alone but Star didn't care she needed someone to help her look like she was making progress with the doctors and he was going to help her either by choice or by force. She didn't care either way.

She plopped down beside him, not even bothering to see if he minded her joining him. She smiled over at him as she unwrapped the questionable sandwich that she was given by the disgruntled lunch lady and started to eat.

"Hi, I'm Star." She said with a bite of food in her mouth. She wasn't going for Miss America so this guy didn't really need to like her that much, just suffer from her company. "Hope you don't mind but I need to make friends so these fucks let me out of here so congratulations you're my new friend." She laughed a little taking a sip of her water.

"What are you in for?" She said twisting the cap back on her water. She was used to everyone else shoving this information freely in her face but this kid was different. She had been here a few weeks and had yet to hear his story and always wondered why that was. Star hated talking about hers but would reluctantly talk about it when she had to. She always left out the rape bit and would say something like attacked or assaulted. She didn't think anyone here deserved to know the truth. It was something that left a hole in her soul and only someone who actually cared should ever see that vulnerable side of her.