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tw: death of a friend, reaction to death, suicidal thoughts




”It’s not so bad here.”

The voice broke through her consciousness, blue eyes slowly blinking open and squinting against the rays of sun that were hitting her. Spots littered her field of vision as she sat up, looking towards the call of the voice - only to be greeted with the smiling visage of Lucia Lovelle. Lilith felt her stomach drop as her eyes darted around, taking note of the fact that they were on the roof of Monroeville - or at least some version of it. Her mouth opened to speak, but no sound came out. Instead, Lili’s eyes fled back to where she had just seen her best friend only to see she was no longer there.

Instead, the blonde had moved beside her and held out a hand to help her up. Long, pale fingers were outstretched towards her and Lili found herself brushing the gravel from her own hand before reaching out and accepting Lucy’s help up. Words seemed to be something that she was at a loss for as she stared into the smiling features of the first person she had ever truly been able to call her friend.

”Lucy, I don’t…”

”I-isn’t it beautiful?” The blonde gestured out towards the expanse of sky that was suddenly pooling into hues of pinks and purples. Her eyes were in wonder at the peaceful silence that seemed to fall over a place that had been so full of terrible memories. It was only then that she noticed that Lucy was still holding her hand, guiding her towards the edge of the building like she had guided her to so many places when she had first come to Monroeville.

”Yeah,” Lili said softly, peeling her eyes from the sunset to look back at Lucy. The glow of soft light painted her features and the light cascaded into a halo effect over icy blonde hair. ”Lucy, how are you… I mean… Director Blackthorn said you were…”

”D-dead?” A sad sort of smile passed over Lucy’s lips even as she gave a gentle squeeze to Lilith’s hand. ”You’ll have to take care of t-them now. They’re going to be lost, but you all need to be s-strong.” Lucy stepped onto the ledge of the building, pulling Lili up with her.

The pink-haired girl look towards the ground. It didn’t seem like such a long way down anymore. She wondered how easy it would be for her to simply lean forward just a little further than she should have. How fast would she fall? How long would it take for her to hit the ground? Lilith balanced along the edge, walking along it as though it were a tightrope and Lucy the ever watchful. ”I could go with you,” she said, turning her head back to look at the blonde. ”Does dying hurt?”

Lucy shook her head, that sadness pooling to the surface again. ”You need to stay here, Lili.” Stepping forward, she reached her hands out and took hold of Lili’s against. ”Our friends need you.” The tears began to pool in Lili’s eyes as she looked at her friend, her jaw quivering as she fought back the tears. Lucy seemed to know the question before it ever left Lili’s lips as the comforting squeeze of fingers offered a marginal amount of strength. ”It’s going to be okay. And when you m-miss me, you can find me in the s-stars.”

Lilith’s brow furrowed as confusion marred her features, but Lucy said nothing else on the matter. Instead, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the pink-haired girl’s forehead before whispering, ”You’ll always be my pudding cup, b-but it’s time to wake up, Lili.”




Gasping, Lilith shot upward, drawing air into lungs as though it had been deprived from her for minutes at a time. Her eyes shot around, looking for Lucy, looking for the sunset, but all that she was met with was the stark white walls of her room. She hadn’t been placed in solitary, but had been deposited onto her bed, the door left open as though someone had wanted her to g out and be free. For a long moment, she clung to the memory of what had just happened. It had to have been a dream. Lucy was....

The thought ended there as she instead chose to focus on what it was that her friend had told her. You can find me in the stars. Another person might not have been able to decipher the words that had been spoken, but Lili was not another person. She fancied herself to know Lucy better than just about anyone and, with a renewed vigor, she flung herself from her bed and down the hall the where the other girl’s room had been.

It was largely untouched for the moment. Frantic blue eyes darted around, looking for a place to hide something small. Something told her to look out the window and as she made her way over there, her foot hit against the baseboard. The sound drew her attention and made her brow furrow. Intuition told her to look and, after checking behind her that no one was there, Lili crouched down and studied the material for a moment.

Carefully, her fingers dug down, fighting with the edge of the loose piece of wood before pulling it free from where it had been placed. A small slit was nestled at the base of the wall where it met the floor and without hesitation, Lili reached her hand in, fingers shuffling from side to side until she found what she had been looking for. Tugging carefully, the object stuck against the wall before releasing and coming into sight.

The thud of boots approaching down the hall had Lili quickly shoving the baseboard back into place and tucking the small item into her shirt before leaving the room, managing to avoid the suspicious eyes of one of the orderlies. It wasn’t until she made it back to her own room that she shut the door behind her and collapsed onto her back on her bed. An icy gaze watched the door for some time, perhaps five or ten minutes, until she was satisfied that no one was going to be coming in.

Only then did Lilith retrieve her prize from her shirt.

Brightly colored string fastened to a bone shaped like a star.

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Tags: N/A
Location: Monroeville
Notes: permission granted from Aspen to write Lucy <3